.tek Technobilge: Management Theory, Time and Motion and Sun Tzu

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Some vileness you may be subjected to in the engineering and IT industry:

Fake Flat Management Structures: Ever heard someone, usually an HR twit, say something along the lines that “we are all equal in this company.”  That is just so much titanosaur droppings.  Years ago I went to an interview at INSERT-USELESS-BUT-PRESTIGIOUS-IT-CONSULTING-FIRM-HERE and was told that there were no managers; all staff were “Associates.”  When I asked who makes the decisions, the HR twit told me that important decisions were made by “Senior Associates.”  If you really want to irritate an HR twit, ask them, “if everyone is equal, do we all get the same pay?”

American, Japanese and Martian Management Techniques etc…: I grew up with this sort of nonsense and had to study umpteen, now deprecated, management theories at uni. The books that expounded this garbage are now forming a thick layer in landfills that will puzzle future generations of archaeologists.

Time-and-Motion Consultants: Let’s pay Mr. Smethwick of Rippoff & Gouge Consulting 10,000 quid to tell us that we can save 20 quid by moving Trevor one inch nearer the Manflatnah 3000 hydraulic press.  Had to study this at uni too.

Sun-Tzu’s Art of War: The boring bane of every male, middle-management after-work drinks conversation.  Stop quoting from this book and get it into your tiny little skull Joe Dingbat, Sales and Marketing Executive, that you are not an army general, you are a cheap-suited, unimportant fleck of dried vomit, spewed up by a dyspeptic housefly.

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