The Dark Tower: Movie, Animation, TV Series, Bardem or Not Bardem… It's Driving Me Nuts!

How annoying this whole development fiasco is. First a movie, then an animation, then a TV series, then, then, then…

Now I hear that Stephen King wants to muck about with some sort of cameo appearance.  I’ve seen his cameos before and they stink, even worse than M. Night Shyamalan’s or Stan Lee’s. He’s great at one thing- writing, why the Hell can’t he just stick to that?

As for the casting suggestions for Roland Deschain…  By the time the film/mini-series/whatever gets started, Bardem will need a Zimmer-frame.  He won’t need to have had his teeth melted away by some chemically unlikely accident either, because he’ll be wearing dentures.  No Country for Old Men?  Yadda, yadda, yadda.  Yes, an outstanding performance, but so what?

My 1/2 pence suggestion?  Deschain’s dad is supposed to be rake-thin and I remember King also mentioning the Terminator as partial inspiration, so pick a fairly lean, average-looking everyman; some unknown actor of the same ilk as Deputy Rick from The Walking Dead.  An empty-eyed, burnt-out killer.  Like Mad-Max in The Road Warrior.  And don’t get me started on that remake either.

Additional note to character designers and wardrobe- please, please don’t do the obvious and over-cowboy Deschaine.  Restrain yourselves with the western attire.  Roland Deschaine is neither John Wayne or a member of The Village People.

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