Code: So the cult of celebrity has finally brought much needed credibility to us poor nerds. (Yes, heavy sarcasm). Will-I-Am and The Zuck, no-less, are encouraging American kids to learn to program. Too late suckers- China, India and Eastern Europe have gotz youz beatz in techz (sorryz). And what about Africa? M-Pesa, (pay-by-phone) invented in Kenya and in Mauritius we have Cyber City. Okay, so there’s not much actually going on in Cyber City, but we have built it. Build it and they will come sort of thing. Just not in actual practice. But, as usual, I digress. Back to Will-I-Am. So, first he “designs” an iPhone camera-case in much the same way as Posh* “designed” the Evoque (god save us from a space-ship designed by Gok) and now he’s telling everyone that not only is coding good, but he’s even going back to school to learn to code… hmmm.**
But we might as well put a positive spin on this. So all I have to do here is to reiterate what I have been saying in several previous postings and newspaper columns– get off that couch, stop admiring Jean or Raj’s ridiculous blingy smartphone, stop staring at some gangsta’s Beema, stop lusting after at Shilpa Shetty gyrating on TV and start coding. Code, hack or program and you will become one of the Leet; not a pathetic user controlled by machines, but a programmer who CONTROLS machines.*** A Techno-Mage if you will! Now if only I could convince the women I meet socially that I am like Neo in the Matrix. And if I was cool as Neo maybe eHarmony would stop trying to fix me up with Shazza from Luton.
*Aside: for the love of god Posh, please tell Mr. Posh to visit the waxing salon before doing any more of those new underwear ads.
**Ohhh the indignity if Will-I-Am turns into a better hacker than me!
***The sad reality is that most programmers are just as tech-dumb as the average consumer. Neither can I really speak on behalf of brother and sister coders being only a script kiddie myself.