You knew it would eventually come down to this level-
Things I have Read On The Bog (Brit-slang for WC)
Readers Digest – My dad used to subscribe to this and it was actually not completely awful if you avoided everything except the occasional piece of short fiction. I found the terrible “humour” particularly unfunny and learned to avoid like the plague the I Am John’s-INSERT HIDEOUS INTERNAL ORGAN HERE type articles.
The Illustrated Weekly Of India – I used to read this during holidays in Mauritius because they printed The Phantom comic strip. You know- the guy who lived in a skull, wore some kind of pre-lycra hero-wear and fought pirates.
Paris Match – I used to read this French entertainment rag during Summer holidays at my aunty’s place in Paris. Much to my delight I found out that it was the magazine favoured by Captain Haddock in the Tintin comics.
These days my recommendation is to browse the dictionary when sitting on the throne. And browse briefly unless you want piles.