Before I was married (briefly, but not briefly enough), I signed on to a number of dating sites. The best and worst was Shaadi.com, the Desi (Indian Diaspora) dating service. Sure, they found me lots of dates, but the women I met had either nothing in common with me or actively wanted to kill me (click here then scroll down to the fourth paragraph).
About a year or so after my marriage dissolved, I was finding it really difficult to meet women. I had tried randomly chatting to strangers, flirty grocery shopping, dating sites like Plenty of Fish, newspaper ads, Craiglist etc., but nothing was working for Old Nerdoronomy. Then a friend strongly recommended E-Harmony. I spent hours filling out huge swaths of online psychometric forms; carefully considering each question, balancing, weighing, and generally getting all rain-man over it. Finally, I finished, hit submit, and was greeted by a message saying that I was too difficult to match.
After that, friends (already attached friends), suggested that “it will happen, when it happens”. Really? Well it hasn’t. And my chances of producing evil, world-conquering progeny grow increasingly unlikely as time passes.
Perhaps I should get back to my robotics laboratory and continue with my secret “mechanical children of doom” project.