Pros: I’m feeling kind because it’s a sunny day, so I’ll start with the good bits. I loved the amazing bridge of the alien spaceship, Michael Fassbender is brilliant, Noomi Rapace – gutsy, Charlize Theron – hypnotic. The CGI is mostly great, at least when applied to machinery and spacey-type things.
Cons: Clumsy, stupid Hollywood science, dingbat adapted ancient Greek allegory, and the CGI for some of the organic stuff looked like dross. Also I wanted to attack the geologist bloke character with his own rock-hammer and, as much as I like Idris Elba, his accent sucked. I could hear the East-End in it. Why did his character have to be American?* Couldn’t they have just made him a cockney? Another moan – if I have to witness any more macho, gung-ho crap, I’m just going to top myself with an overdose of ‘roids.** Does Scott honestly feel contempt towards his audience? I hope so, because the only alternative is that he is just a one-trick-pony as far as the Alien franchise goes. Back to the Greek Promethean thing – I now know why Tolkien hated allegory. Dear gods, and he IS promising a sequel to this prequel (a presquel?)***
Chainsaws awarded – 3, mainly for that line in the title of this post. (And because I fancy Ms. Theron.)
Errata et Addendum (2015-08-16 04:45)
- *Noomi Rapaace’s accent was also awful and it turns out Elba CAN do American (e.g. The Wire), just not oakie).
- **Perhaps there’s a back-story, that didn’t make the final cut, regarding Captain Janek and his flight crew that explains his sudden uncharacteristic burst of heroics at the end of the movie.
- ***I was pretty angry at the time. That anger has dissipated into disappointment. Who knows though, maybe it’s too soon to discount Scott entirely, or like Lucas and Star Wars, perhaps it’s time for him to pass the responsibility for the franchise on to someone else.